Monday, November 24, 2003

Ninja Fucking Robots

All right, so I was going to make this one of the links of the day yesterday, but I think that this is so damn freaky that it needs its own post. I'm pretty sure the fate of the world is at stake with this one, and I'm the only one who sees it. So, here is what I am talking about...



That's right, that's a ninja fucking robot. Actually, that particular one is a sumo wrestling robot, which is also quite scary. Here's the article about them if you don't believe me. There's also some movies of these badasses in action. Granted, they don't look too tough yet, but it's only stage one.

The only logical conclusion from seeing these things is that they will be taking over the world soon. I mean, how can us measly humans compete with ninja robots?!?! All it will take is for one of them to "learn" to be pissed off at us, and it's all over. Some of you may be asking why I'm so scared. Well, ninjas scare the shit out of me. Here's why. Now, instead of ninja, substitute ninja fucking robot. Hey, now you see why I'm scared, don't ya?

So what options do us petty humanoids have? Well, my only frame of reference on this sort of thing, sadly, is the Matrix. The first Matrix, not the shitty second one or the third one that I assume is even more shitty. So I suppose we need to blow up the sun and dig to the center of the earth to create a city. Okay, scratch that, do the first part second and the second part first. See, that type of quick thinking is why I should be the king of the new underground world that we will soon enjoy. Vote King Shaun in 2020. Hell, at least it won't be so fucking cold in the middle of the earth. See that?!?! Feels like four degrees here. Bullshit, I tell ya.

On a completely unrelated note, I woke up to a city inspector in my house. After a few people died in a housefire a few months ago, they are now inspecting all the houses in Dinkytown. While that was a tragedy in all seriousness, I still don't want to get booted from my house. See, Tim and I don't have what are exactly considered legal windows in our room. In fact, they aren't really windows at all. They're more like slabs of foot thick glass that has no way of opening. And I think the fire dude probably noticed that. Our only hope is that our landlord paid the guy off. Otherwise, I think I'm out the door. So faithful readers in the U of M area, if you are looking for a roommate or two, you know where to reach us. Our other plan is to live with Tim's parents for a while, which would be weird, or get an apartment, which would be expensive. Actually, the real plan is to tell them to lower our rent and say we'll move out, but never do. But that's one to keep on the dl, not post on the... shit.

Oh, and since none of you bastards decided to help me put my MSN link up, I had to learn how to do it myself. Actually, I owe Spuggy of GorillaMask a little credit, he actually talked me through how to do it. But I don't owe any of you other pricks anything! Thanks for nothing, you ungrateful assholes! Wait... I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I love you, please keep reading our site!!! Wow, it's official, I'm a schitzoid. Oh well, on to...

LINKS OF THE DAY


This guy is damn cool. Or he's a complete fake. Either way, he's my fucking hero.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Music Video... need I say more? It's pretty funny, watch it if you're on high speed.





The Ladies Love This Guy

Friday
I really have no idea where to start on what happened this weekend, but I will try and if you are a woman you may hate me after this but, I love you. Friday night started off just as Shaun stated before. We decided to see how many root beer barrel's we could do. I have no idea how many I did, but it was enough, not to mention in between each root beer barrels I was sipping on my gin and tonic. Lee and Marshall showed up as well as some ladies that Shaun knew. We chilled at our place drinking some more, Shaun and I do not remember much after people started showing up. After a while we chose to leave to a party, which Shaun could not attend. Once we got to the party I was feeling good... I think, this is where I do not remember much of the night. I do remember talking to my old roommate and others, then I decided to buy a cup which was a horrible idea since I already had enough to drink. Well, I found these two ladies dancing on this small table and I wanted to create a scene and see if I could dance with them but they would not let me join them. Apparently I found this to be uncool and I preceded to call them whores and threw my cup at one of them. That is when my boy Marshall decided to help me out the door and we left. Also on the walk home Lee slammed my head into a wall...OUCH! I have no idea how long we were at this party, but once again large amounts of alcohol made me act like a jackass and I would like to say sorry. The night ended with me passing out in my bed.

Saturday
Well I woke up Saturday morning freezing my ass off, because I apparently opened my window the night before. I also woke up to find a nice pile of vomit and my t-shirt laying next to me in my bed. Better reason than any to clean my sheets. All day Saturday I felt like a big lump of shit I did not want to do anything, so I didn't. Well hockey time was approaching so I had a couple beers, nothing that would affect me at the game. At the game I was making the normal scene I do, yelling at everything and anyone who could here me. Goldy our lovely mascot came near are section and I yelled something about how I hate you Goldy and this cute little blonde chick and her friend two rows in front of us, who are both friends of hot hockey chick....lets take a moment to think of hot hockey chick..........alright I need a rag. Ok back to the story this blonde chick and her friend thought it was wrong of me to make fun of our mascot. I think I make fun of Goldy just to be different and see how people react and boy did they react. She kept giving me the evil look, but you really know that she was staring at the most beautiful thing ever, no not this guy, but Tim passed out next to me. He wasn't really passed out but he is a hot stud and was hammered at the game. Then I screamed something about how Goldy stole this kids hat and the kid was going to freeze to death and this lady directly in front of me told me to shut up and she hoped that I would get my ass kicked, which I think is going to happen sometime soon. What nerve this bitch had telling me to shut up, get the fuck out of the student section if you cannot handle my foul mouth or ability not to shut up. These two bitches left a sour taste in my mouth and I cannot wait for the next hockey game to yell more shit than I have ever before. FUCK YOU GOLDY AND YOUR MOM YOU RODENT. If you would have done the shocker maybe you would have gained some of my respect, but no. That's all I got hopefully in the next few weekends I can find a lady who doesn't want to ripped my sack off. Its snowing and turkey day is coming, I love it, and I am going to shove turkey down Shaun's face.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Root Beer Barrells, Hockey, and Goldy oh my!

So my mother would be so proud of me. Friday, all I did was hang out with some friends at the house, play some video games, and went to bed at around 11. Hahahaha, it's true, all of that did happen, but not in so innocent of terms. Wubbs and I thought it would be a good idea to make some rootbeer barrells. If you don't know what those are, you are a huge loser and may never speak to me again. All right, so all they are is a shot of root beer schnapps dropped into a beer, which is chugged racing style.

Root beeer barrells are suprisingly potent, especially when downed at record speed. Before anyone got to the house, Wubbs and I were already in trouble. Me much moreso than Wubbs. Finally, Marshall, Lee, and possibly Tim stopped by to get the party started. This is where I start getting a little fuzzy.

Apparently Marshall was pouring himself a vodka mixer. After he poured in about four shots of vodka he turned away to grab something else. At the same time I was getting ready to pour a rootbeer barrell. I grabbed Marshall's seemingly empty cup and poured a beer in. Marshall saw this and told me that I stole his cup. Not really comprehending what this meant, I poured the beer and vodka into another cup, getting ready to race Wubbs. At this point I'm almost positive Marshall could have stopped me from what I was about to do, but I think he either thought I knew what I was doing, or was amused by my drunken retardedness. I'm going to have to go out on a limb and guess the latter.

So I did it. I drank a beer, four shots of vodka, and a shot of rootbeer schnapps in one swift drink. That's pretty much the last thing I remember from the night. The only other thing I recall is trying to get into a car and falling on my ass, and people telling me to go back inside. I didn't fight it much, I knew I was fucked. Oh well, at least I made for some good amusement for everyone around me.

What made it even worse for me, however, is that I had to be up at 8 in the a fucking m to judge a debate tournament. That was not the greatest feeling in the world. However, I got through it and made it home in time for the hockey game.

Hockey is awesome. We won, 3-0. I got to do the black hole chant. Goldy threw me a candy bar. We sat by people as loud as us. I snuck in a beer. I almost got Goldy to do the shocker, but he motioned that he'd probably get kicked out if he did. Good times were had by all... except by Wubbs who once again managed to piss off the opposite sex.

Finally we had Saturday night. I managed to convince my stomach to feel the flow, so long as I didn't get too annihilated. I was feeling okay, and we hung out at the house for most of the evening. Marshall made me a pretty sweet cd, thanks Marshall. We eventually went to a party Lee knew of, that consisted of about 500 people shoved into a house that should only hold like 20 at any given point. There were actually a few ladies for the guys, but that's not even fun if you're packed like a sardine. So we went to McDonalds and made fun of the fat security gaurd. Yes, we're easy to please.

All in all, not a horrible weekend. Not much to tell since apparently I don't remember half of it. Wubbs can tell all of you more, since he actually made it to the party Friday (though I hear he's the reason they had to leave, I'll let him tell you about that). And hey, freaking turkey day is coming up. I will not be eating any of that fine bird, I actually hate that shit. Corned beef and cabbage for this guy. Next time I talk to you guys will be on Yankton time.

Oh, and as a bit of an afterthought, I found out that there's for sure a way to add my MSN to the sidebar, like Wubbs has his AIM. A part of gorilla mask has the ability, so I know it's possible. I just don't know the html code. I've tried looking all over the net, but to no avail. If any of you are true webmasters, you'll come up with an answer for me :)

LINKS OF THE DAY

I wish I was at this game...

Someone buy this for me... so I can eat it

Playboy does the women of Wal-Mart (thanks Gorillamask)

Best mask for robbing a bank ever

Thursday, November 20, 2003

So it's Thursday night and I'm a happy camper. The week is almost over, which means the weekend is near and liqour will flow like... well, liqour. It also means that another hockey game is coming up, finally.

Hockey night is the single greatest thing that happens on the weekend, with the possible, but not likely chance, of this kid getting some action. Haha, just kidding, hockey is way better than that. Going to a hockey game means drunken debauchery, screaming profanities, and foam shocker fingers. Yes, Tim, Wubbs and I all have those, they're so cool.




This is Thomas Vanek. About a year ago I wanted to have his love child. Then someone told me I could not have children, since I don't have a womb. After contemplating this injustice I thought maybe I could just have a sex change, and carry the child in my rectum or something. After some brief medical consultation I found out this would not fly either... and the doctor tried to have me committed. Screw you Dr. Jerkoff.

Anyway, Vanek would probably not let me have his love child anyway. That guy probably has more hockey whores than he knows what to do with. Plus, he's apparently too busy skating around all day, that's the only way you could possibly get as good as he was last year. He's letting me down this year, but I assume the Gophers will once again come rolling back in the seond half of the season and claim another title.

But really, we don't even go to the hockey games for the hockey. In fact, half the time I can't see the game because of the ass-clowns in front of us that feel the need to stand the whole time. Instead, we spend most of our time hurling random insults at players, referees, cheerleaders, and anyone in the crowd that happens to piss us off. In light of this I thought I'd do a top ten list of our best insults/comments so far this year. These are in no particular order, basically because I don't care enough to put them in one.

10. Get on your knees ref... CUZ YOUR BLOWING THE GAME!

9. Hey buddy, can't wait to see you when you make it to the NHL... HAHAHAHAHA, NO CHANCE IN HELL!

8. (while watching the little kids playing during intermission) Tim: You call this hockey?!?! These guys suck!!!

7. (when playing Denver) Dammit Rechey, I know where you live.... Denver!!!

6. Stab him with your skate!!!! Don't drop your stick, use it!!!

5. Reichmuth, you fucking Nazi! You just fucking suck!

4. Do the flying V! (Mighty Ducks style, you know you watched it)

3. Pound the triange button!! Deke, bitch, deke!!!

2. (after giving up a goal) ITS ALL YOUR FAULT, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! (I love that chant)

and of course, because it relates to this site, when the announcer talks about the Steak Knife's steaks being big and tender....

1. GOLDY'S MOM IS BIG AND TENDER

Speaking of which, I sat by a girl in class today that dresses as Goldy for the volleyball games. I wanted to tell her that her mom was big and tender, but I refrained. It was definitely tough.

Well, that's about it for now, if you have any suggestions for what we should yell at the game this weekend (against Denver Tech) feel free to drop a comment. I'm out like a metaphor for being out.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Under Construction

Well kids, we're totally revamping here, changing for the better. We're working on getting a comment ability put in, as well as a new background and some other cool shit (like a counter, to see if anyone is even reading this). Unfortunately, by doing all this, the site may look like pure ass for a while. Bear with us, we'll get it down eventually. If we do something that you see and think looks totally horrible, let us know, we're definitely open to suggestion. Also, if you know of any cool html gear, drop us a line so we can improve further. That should do it for now, I'll put up a real update eventually when we get all this other crap done. I'll end on a famous Wubbs quote when a guy was staring at him, looking to kick his ass. "Yeah, keep fucking my mom!" Classic, Wubbs.

Update

Well, that didn't take as long as I thought. About five hours after we started, we have a totally new webpage. I direct your attention to the puke green color, which is quite the change from the puke orange. I'd say it's headed in the right direction, though I don't like the green hyperlinks on top of the green background. I'll work on that.

We also have a new kickass comment system up. Feel free to try it out, so that we know we may actually have a few readers. Finally, we have a counter, which will be quite cool. It clicks over at every refresh, so it will bloat our numbers enormously, but hey, inflated numbers inflate my ego, which is always a good thing. We're also looking at putting up a little midi greeting sound when the page is opened. I don't know if that will be obnoxious or anything. It couldn't be with Wubbs and I whispering sweet low quality sound nothings into your ear every time you checked us out.

Well, that's about all. This site is pretty educational for me, really boosted my html knowledge. And it helps me avoid homework, which is the real goal of any true college student. Or maybe that's just me...

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Let Us Know What You Think

Hey Ladies if you want a free breast exam from me or if the guys want Shaun to give them a prostate exam let us know. Or if you just want to talk to one of us, or want to give us a topic to talk about, or have stories you want us to post send it to us at: Goldy's Mom's Email Address
We will love to hear from you!

Setting The Record Straight

Since I started this website, I decided that maybe I should do my part and let all you die hard readers, all 3 of you, know what is going on from my point of view and not Shaun's. First of all I did participate in conflict with some football players who thought they do more for the University of Minnesota than I do but how is that possible with this website I do more for the University than it knows what to do with. On Saturday after a few Premium Grain Belts I was ready to go out with Lee and Shaun. We ended up at the girls rugby team, and let me tell you I have a tendency to get a slight case of the beer goggles but no amount of beer could have driven me to attempt to as Shaun says "get on one." So instead of using my unbelievable ladies skills on girls who could eat me whole I decided to comment on how funny it would be to run through a foam wall, but that idea tanked when a guy called me borderline retarded.

How this website got its name!
To make all long story short I really do not like our mascot Goldy the Gopher and what is the greatest insult that you can give a person. Other than "Fuck You" I chose to make fun of their mom. So I choose to make fun of huge hairy old gopher (this is what I think what Goldy's mom would look like) not to mention she is also big and tender.

Here is a nice picture for you, Shaun's mom decided to stop by our house. The resemblance is striking!


The Strangest Conversation Ever... and some other shit

So since Wubbs is sleeping right now and won't let me violate him, you readers lose twice over. First, you don't get to hear stories of me violating Wubbs, and you also don't get another one of his stylish updates. Well, life goes on I suppose. Since I have no homework, and Wubbs still hasn't told you about Saturday, or why the site is called Goldy's Mom (get your ass in gear Wubbs!) I thought I'd post some random crap.

For instance, this is the conversation that I heard between Wubbs and some random girl walking by this weekend. Possibly the most surreal thing I had ever had the pleasure of watching. To set it up, we were at that rugby chick party, Wubbs was feeling the flow, and wearing a pimpin' Pittsburgh Penguins jersey. The girl in question was just walking by to get to the bathroom. It went a little something like this....

Girl: Hey, Pittsburgh

Wubbs: Pirates...

Girl: No, Penguins

Wubbs: Penguins fly, bitch (actually, I'm not sure he said bitch, but it makes the story more amusing)

Girl: Penguins! (grabs the penguin on the jersey) You have to support your team!

Wubbs: I don't fly, damn it!

And that was pretty much that. I don't think Wubbs was all that drunk, he just wanted to confuse the poor girl who was pretty hammed. All in all, it was an amusing experience.

On a totally unrelated note, a buddy of ours, Marshall, has been so kind to link our humble little website to his totally badass website. Wubbs has already linked to the Marshall Plan in his side links, but I thought since he was so kind to link to us, I'd put up a special link in a post. The guy is pretty funny, well worth reading a time or three. And just yesterday we found out we have a class together, which doesn't matter since neither of us go to it anyway. But I degress, the website is awesome, and sometimes he puts up pictures of Wubbs... drunk pictures.



That on the left is Marshall, in Miami Vice form on Halloween. On the right is Wubbs, dressed up as Cochese, from Beastie Boys fame. I was I could grow a porn 'stache like that. Luckily, I don't think there are any surviving pictures of me from Halloween. I dressed up as a lesbian... it was damn sexy, let me tell you.

Speaking of which, I guess I said long ago that I'd put up a picture of myself. While I have yet to find one that truly captures how damn sexy I am, I had this one from a week ago, so I suppose it will have to do.



That's long haired Shaun. Mike's cutting my hair for me one of these days, so I'll look drastically different. That's also me shaved, which is a rarity in and of itself. Maybe someday I'll put one up that's truer to my form. Not today though, as I'm soon off to buy a little game called Mario Kart Double Dash and play it for the next 14 hours straight. Oh well, on to...

THE LINKS!

This is my personal mantra (high speed internet needed, and not the least profane thing, it's Jack Black, so duh)

And I suppose this could be considered Group-X's response

I love to see Metallica fail... I bet it's all Napsters fault

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Drunk and Disorderly

No one does weekends like we do. After a long week of skipping classes and playing video games, we really have to cut loose. We've decided the best way to do so is through mind altering substances. I quit the gonja, so for us that means alcohol.

I should explain my thoughts on drugs here. I think pot should be legalized and taxed to hell so my regular taxes go down (whenever I get a job and have to pay them). But I have an even better reason for legalization. A college kid high on pot just wants to sit in the living room with his roommates and watch pink floyd videos. A college kid liqoured up wants to start some shit. Well, that's where our weekend began. It ended with at least one person over the toilet, a cop, and some beefy rugby girls (I'll let Wubbs explain the girls in his next update... he got to know them best).

So after judging a little debate Friday night I got home and wanted to start the mayhem immediately. Wubbs, Mike, one of our other roommates, along with Seth, a good buddy of mine, were happy to oblige and we started out as we always do, with the best card game ever invented, P&A. About four beers later and a whole lot of vodka later, the night was starting to become much more enjoyable for this kid. Seth stuck with the vodka, while Wubbs used the good ole gin and juice. Mike went straight to tequila, which I blame for how the night ended up. Damn you tequila!

After getting the flow going at the house, it was on to a party. We lost Seth on the way. To tell you the truth, I only remember snippets of what happened there. I remember some guy brought an acoustic/electric guitar and jammed out for a while, which was quite cool. He played a lot of Sublime and DMB, along with Phish, which is my sort of thing. I should have seen where the night was heading, though, when Mike decided he wanted to try out the guitar, picking it up and smashing strings in the most obnoxious way possible. The rest of the party consisted of drinking, talking to random people, and pissing on a tree.... oh, and some bitch broke one of my returnable bottles. Damn it all.

About two o'clock in the morning came and some girls wanted us to go to their house for some post partying. I don't know what happened to that idea, but it never happened, I think some other guy gave them all a ride home. No big loss in my mind, since all I wanted to do was go home and pass out. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.

Instead, Mike ran into some guys that he knew from his frat. They were going to a frat party and wanted us to join them. After a brief stop at McDonalds for some McChicken sandwiches (best thing ever when drunk), we were on our way. As we walked, we memorized our frat names. I was Sam Larson. Apparently, being Shaun Blum is not cool enough to let me hang out with a bunch of people that pay for friends. Just kidding frat readers... haha, yeah right, we don't have any of those. We didn't get far though, before Mike and Wubbs met up with some football players on the street. Apparently, everyone decided they didn't like each other immediately, and arguments ensued. Wubbs told the guys that they were fourth string losers and they countered by asking Wubbs what he did for the school. All very mature, I"m sure. I had nothing to do with any of this, I was too messed up to even run my mouth. Instead I stood around until it looked like no punches were going to be thrown. Then I ran into a girl I knew who wanted me to go with her, so I left my joker roommates to cause their own trouble.

I walked this girl home and started my way back to the house, assuming I'd meet up with the roommates there. I got about halfway back when I saw Mike outside a frat, harrassing one of the bouncers. The only thing I remember was Mike asking for a police escort home. Smooth idea Mike. The guy saw me talk to Mike and asked me if I could get him out of there. I made a valiant effort, but in his drunken state of mind Mike wasn't going anywhere with me. The kid is a black belt, so I wasn't forcefully moving him. I figured he could take care of himself for a while, so I went to the house to get backup.

When I got back with Wubbs and Huck, it looked like Mike had gotten his wish. There he was, arguing with a cop, while the frat boys looked on at the scene. I walked up, trying to look as sober as I could, and asked the cop if I could take him home. The cop seemed more than happy to have Mike off his hands. Mike didn't want to go, but eventually somewhere in his fogged brain it clicked that he was arguing with a cop and decided to leave with us.

The rest of the night consisted of Mike's head over the toilet, Wubbs passing out, and me watching Alf episodes on my computer. Eventually we all passed out, piecing together what happened when we woke up. I'm still not sure if any of this is 100% correct, but I think it's pretty accurate. If not, who gives a shit, because we were hammered. And all of this is just Friday night, Wubbs will fill you in on Saturday and how he got on some rugby chicks, and eventually got us all booted from the party.

Links of the Day

Our government is out of hand!

My buddy Ben Turned me on to a new stand-up comic. Meet Bill Hicks. (Must have real player installed to watch that, and it's streaming, so high speed internet).

Here's his main page if you like that...

Thursday, November 13, 2003

18 year old basketball players have nothing on this kid

Fuck all those 18 year old basketball players making millions. Try playing goalie in the NHL at 18 only making thousands.
Marc-Andre Fleury is a stud

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Jail House Rocks... Or Not

So my cousin got into a little trouble about three months ago, won't mention what he got busted for. Anyway, this weekend I was back in good ole' South Dakota where he was, so I payed him a visit in the can.

Let me tell you, visiting someone in prison is an interesting experience. First of all, I was a little worried walking in, because I had this speeding ticket that I may or may not have been exceedingly late in paying. I knew that they do background checks, so when I went to check in I was worried that I'd be paying a visit to a little cell to call my own due to an outstanding warrant. Fortunately, they apparently only look at federal offenses, of which I am clear... so far :)

I was made even more nervous when I walked in and the cop immediately jumped up to greet me. Apparently, wearing hooded sweatshirts is not kosher when visiting a relative. I guess they thought I was sneaking in cocaine and pepto bismol or something. The cop decided taking the hoodie off was not enough, and proceeded to pat me down. I wanted to giggle and ask for the strip search, but I figured he may not see the humor in that. After violating me, it was finally time to see my cousin.

He was actually doing well, which was cool. We talked for an hour or so, then I began to look around at the other people there. It was quite a site. I've never been anywhere that had families playing cards together in the same room as a dude getting a handjob from his girlfriend. The amount of stuff happening all at one time was frightening. I must say, after seeing that, I doubt the strenght of our legal system even more than I ever did before.

Well, that's about all I had, wasn't as exciting of an update as I thought it would be. In other news, I watched Kickboxer part 26 the other night with Cody from Step by Step. Anyone else remember that show? It was awesome. Anyway, I didn't realize how much of a badass Cody was, in a Keanu Reeves "whoa" sort of way. Well, it made me laugh.

I guess that's all for this update. I'll post more after Wubb's witty responses to my rock solid update earlier. Come on Wubbs, what you got bitch?!?! Actually, I shouldn't provoke Josh, he subconciously hates me, he'll probably get drunk, remember this, and kick my ass. Ask him about it sometime, he loves to punch me in the face, or throw shit at me... I hate that kid.

Links of the Day

I don't want a large Farva, I want a Gosh Damn Liter Cola!!!!

Our Government is Dumb

I Love This Site, Don't Know Why I Didn't Mention It Till Now

Blah, Blah, Blah. Blum if your town isn't so bad, where did ya find time to write such a wonderful post. Well I am tired from the weekend and I have a test in biology that I am going to fail, that is the trend with me and tests these days. So after tuesday when my brain starts working I will write myself one of those wonderul Shaun Blum posts. I haven't ripped on Shaun in four days so I am gonna do it now while he is gone. Out like Shaun's mom in a game of Yankton dodgeball!

Saturday, November 08, 2003

There's No Place Like Home

Well, this weekend Wubbs decided to cut some deer's head off and eat it, or some shit like that. I'm sure his next update will give you all the bloody details. Since this amazingly cool event apparently took place somewhere other than Minneapolis, he was gone for the weekend. I knew Tim would probably be gone as well, so I decided that with no hockey game over the weekend, it was probably a good time for me to bug out as well. After all, I'm just a pathetic loser without those two to party with.

Well, that decision was probably a mistake. I bought season tickets to the Gophers football games this year, for a couple of games. Michigan was a kick ass game that we managed to lose, along with Michigan State. The game that I was really looking forward to was the Wisconsin matchup, this past Saturday. The dumb ass pessimmist that I am, I decided that we would probably lose Bunyan's Axe yet again, so I figured going home at a time when I wouldn't miss a hockey game was more important. Damn, damn, damn. Not only do we win, but in thrilling fashion no less. I'm sure the beer is flowing and everyone is in high spirits, but here I am stuck in Yankton, South Dakota, or as I like to call it, Satan's Asshole (there's a Dane Cook reference for you all).

But I suppose it's not so bad. As much as I hate to admit it, I do start to miss my family after a while. It may be hard for you all to believe, but a macho stud like me is actually quite the mama's boy. After a couple of months apart from her, I start to weep in my sleep. OK, not quite that bad, but you get the idea. Plus, I found that all the girls here aren't as evil as initially thought, which has made for a nice start to a crazy long distance relationship. But that's all the information you readers will get about that for now.

Really, this town isn't all that bad. I think all through high school you are required to hate your home town, whether it's bad or not. Maybe that only applies to us small town folk. But I do have some good memories here. I must admit, the outdoor life here is absolutely amazing. I guess I have to remember that not every kid gets to spend every summer camping every weekend, boating the afternoons away on a ginormous lake (yeah, I made that word up, it's awesome), exploring islands in the middle of a river, and hiking up and down trails that display nature at its finest. And all of this is within fifteen minutes of my house.

Not only that, but growing up in a small town offered me opportunities that most people don't get. Since I don't suck horribly at writing, I managed to land a job at the age of fourteen as a sports writer for the local newspaper. I don't think every kid that age gets to travel around the state and write for a circulation of over 10,000. Search the 2000 stories for Shaun Blum, you can see some of my work. All right, now I'm just bragging.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't hate my home town after all, even though if you ever ask I'll probably deny it to the death. Maybe because it's late, but I'm feeling all Wizard of Ozish, with my ruby slippers, clicking those things together, shouting there's no place like home. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough.

In hindsight, I promise that this is the longest post that I'll ever make. Brevity never was my thing, but I'm sure no one wants to read through all this crap, except maybe my mom, and I'm not sure I want her to read a website where I'm sure I'll drop the f-bomb at least a thousand times.

Update on my picture status, I had one taken that shows my in a particularily sexy light, so I'll post that when I get back to school. My next post will also include my adventures in visiting my cousin in jail. Trust me, it was a good time. Until then faithful readers, I hate you all :)


Links of the Day

Damn, they foiled my disposal means... wait, it's legal.

In case you missed the harmonic concordance

This is why I may be a liberal lawyer someday.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Meet Your New Favorite Web Blogger

What's up kids? I'm Shaun, I will also be posting to this site on an occassion or three. Like Wubbs, my super sexy roommate, I have little to no clue about running a website, but I am sure we will be learning the hard way. Right now I have no pictures to thoroughly show how sexy I truly am, but when I get one worthy of me I'll put it up... maybe with Homer, if you're lucky. To hold you over, I'll put up this damn funny link.


Comedy gold I tell ya.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003




This a pic of myself and my pal homer.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Well, this would be the debut of the goldy's mom website. We will dedicate our time and hopefully your time with exciting events that happen around the University of Minnesota. Hopefully we will have pics and what not, but as of right now I do not know how to run a website but I will learn.
Fuck you Shaun and goldy's mom