Sunday, December 14, 2003

We've Hit A Thousand!

Well kids, we've gone and done it. Our tiny little website, which should be of interest to no one, has pushed over the thousand hits mark. Granted, 750 of those hits are most assuredly Wubbs and I checking it over and over and over, but that still leaves a good 250 hits from you fine people. How did this lowly site hit so big. Well, I assume it's because the two of us are so fucking cool. Or it's because we whore ourselves out by putting borderline nude pictures up. Either way, we're sexy bitches. Yes, that's right, and we're even more popular because we're so humble about it.

I suppose we should thank the little people. Well damn it, screw you all. This site takes up a lot of my time, and no one is giving me sloppy blowjobs in return. I blame you for that dear readers, and I expect you to live up to my demands in the future. OK, the dudes can just give me money, but I demand that you ladies get the short end of the stick and... ouch, I just burned myself.

Anywho, that whole last paragraph was a lie. Just me venting from the week before finals. Thanks for reading the site, we have a blast putting it up and we love to hear comments from you. Plus, you all give me a good excuse to not do my homework, which is critical on days like today when I should be pounding the books. Thanks for that, readers.

But on to the weekend, I suppose. Friday night Wubbs didn't want to go out, whining about wanting good grades or some bullshit like that. I told him that his vagina must hurt, and it changed his tune a little bit. Seth stopped by and watched me and Wubbs pound whiskey shots like they ain't no thang, then we all went to a little BYOB social gathering. Since I didn't have any B to BYO, Wubbs helped me out with a few "reebs" (reebs is what we're calling beers now, it's cool, thanks to this kick ass movie. Brad Pitt and David Duchovny in the same murder movie. Could life get any better? I submit that it could not). Thanks Wubbs. Anyway, the party was pretty happening, with flashing females facing this guy happening early on and some people spitting on Wubbs later. Oh, and Wubbs got kicked in the testicles, punched in the chest, and had his pants ripped. It was a blast. All fun must end, however, and I sort of lost the partying mood when I had to help one of the people that lived in the house inside because she was seemingly trying to pass out in the snow. Poor girl. I decided that was my cue to go home with Seth and drive intoxicated. Of course by drive intoxicated I mean kick Seth's ass in this game. While eating three hamburgers... I was hungry.

Saturday night we were responsible adults and stayed home and studied. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK, we stayed home, but not a whole lot of studying was done. First off we helped Wubbs' parents haul in a huge ass pinball table that was a birthday gift to his brother. Wubbs' dad, who I found it is just like the most kickass guy ever, gave us a Playboy CD ROM for our efforts. Hernias never feel so bad when looking at porn. After that we did some Christmas shopping, played more Mario Kart, watched the Kalifornia movie linked above, and basically just screwed around a lot. Even more porn may or may not have been downloaded, we really aren't at liberty to say. Eventually, I did get around to writing a paper, but I think I have to rewrite it since it's pretty bad. My best work just cannot be done on a Saturday night, when I know I should be out having a good time.

Other than that, there's not much new to report here. I will try to post at least once more during finals week. I have been working on an in-depth history of Goldy the Fucking Gopher that proves why we hate him so much. Unfortunately, that's been a lot of work, and I'm not sure if it will be funny or not, but I should have it up by Wednesday or Thursday. Wubbs has an excellent post coming... about his arms. Actually it's really hilarious, be on the watchout for it.

On one final rather sad note, Laura will be leaving us after this semester. Apprarently the good ole' U of M just isn't cutting it for her, so she's returning to the roots of South Dakota. We wish her well, but she will be missed. Did she party with us every weekend? No. Did she drink like a champ when she was here? Rarely. Could I feel good about flirting with my best friends little sister who I knew had a boyfriend? Sadly, I could not. But, Laura still royally kicks ass until there is no more ass to kick, and we'll miss hanging out with her. As a tribute to Laura I will post the pictures of her and me riding the giant penis at Sex World when we go there tomorrow. Until then, all you get is this sexy pic. Laura's the only true female in the picture, you should be able to tell... I hope.

Links of the Day

I was a debater. I did the pen twirl. Thus, this website fascinates me.

I read Wubbs' pick up lines from last post. I loved all of them, and here are a ton more, just for kicks.

Play this game, it rules. Er, unless you are under 18, I've heard rumors that some little sisters read this page. Hmm, wonder who that could be.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you all of the "real men of genious" Bud Light commercials, in mp3 format.

Oh yeah, and we finally caught some old dude in Iraq. Took us long enough, glad we went to war for all the right reasons.


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