Wednesday, March 31, 2004

A Conversation Between Josh Wubbena and Shaun Blum

"My ass itches"

"Ah, a little excess fecal material huh?"

"Yep, I always keep a little around, it keeps my ass safe"

"Safe? From what?"

"Predators, duh."

"So... you're worried about homosexual rapists going after your sweet ass huh?"

"Hell yes, I always keep this around, it's a survival instinct"


"Hell yeah, if I ever go to jail, I'm never wiping my ass. Then, if I ever get raped, I can turn around and say, haha poopy dick. And then I'd probably get beaten down. But it'd be worth it"

"You have a valid point."

"I'm telling you, if I were a rapist, I'd search for the cleanest asshole. This is survival of the fittest."

"You never cease to amaze me..."

Later in the walk.

"Jesus, you are cool Wubbs"

"I am Jesus"

"I wish Jesus' name was Josh Wubbena, that'd be great. I'd definitely lose some respect for the man though."

"If his name was Josh I'm sure my name would be Jesus, and we'd be having the same conversation in reverse."

"Wow, I think we've stumbled upon some parallel dimension with this one."

"Yep, we're definitely in an alternate universe, hanging out with the Star Trekians."

"How about the Star Warsians?"

"No dumb ass."

"I love when we have conversations Wubbs. This is definitely going on Goldy's Mom."

What a productive walk to the bank. Best post ever, hands down.


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