Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Getting Ripped the Easy Way

So for quite a while I’ve wanted to get buff. I’ll hit the gym for like a week straight, or go running every day, and then let it fade off. It’s not so much that I lose interest in getting fit, I just lose interest in the activities available to get in shape. So I started thinking, dangerous I know, about activities that I could do that would hold my interest while getting me in shape. That’s when the brainstorm hit!
Come on guys, I can’t believe we haven’t all thought of this. What’s the one physical activity we can’t get enough of? Sex, of course! And more directly, for those of us without true girlfriends, and some of us with them, masturbation. That’s when I decided I needed to invent the masturbation workout, or as I like to call it, Mastercizing.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. You’re thinking that masturbation is only a workout for your favorite arm, and possibly that arm’s wrist. Au contraire, my friend, au contraire. You just haven’t learned the wonderful world of multiple masturbation styles. Luckily for you there is this handy site that can help the uninitiated. It has such helpful mastercizing techniques as…

Insert a balloon (filled with marbles) up you're ass then slightly inflate tie something on the balloon so u don't lose it, and jack off the normal way. Jump around so the marbles stimulate you're prostate feels great guaranteed you'll explode and spray cum every were.


Now that's a full body workout. Don't worry ladies, this site provides for you too. I mean, whom amongst you girls can turn down a workout such as this...

Grind your clit against something. The arm of a sofa should do quite well. Just rock back and forth. Some women may be able to climax without using their hands at all.


Think of all the muscles that works! Not sure you are ready for such a workout? Don’t worry; there are plenty of novice exercises to work you up to that level. There’s also a wide variety of exercise equipment and exercise tapes all over the internet to keep you on a healthy mastercizing schedule you are guaranteed to never get bored with. Soon you boys will be cut and have the ladies all over you. Unfortunately, you may be too drained to appreciate that fact.

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