Monday, May 24, 2004

Movies Not To Watch At 3 AM

So I didn't get much sleep last night. It wasn't because I wasn't tired, it was because of the movie that I decided to fall asleep to. If you don't know that about me, I almost always go to sleep with a movie playing. Some people listen to music, but I can't, I pay too much attention to the lyrics. Nope, a decent movie that I've seen about 20 times is the way to go, because I can zone it out. Last night, however, I chose the wrong movie. I chose...



Now, I don't know how many of you have seen this classic movie, but if you haven't you definitely should. And pi, also made by the same guy, both kick major ass. However, they are not happy fun bedtime movies. They keep you awake. They give you nightmares of your arm rotting off and your girlfriend getting raped for smack by some huge dude. All in all, not a lovely experience for restful slumber.

I should have watched the Boondock Saints, the movie Wubbs bought yesterday. There's another excellent flick that you must all see. The best scene comes when the homosexual cop, played by Willem Defoe, calls his lover a faggot for trying to cuddle after sex. That's just quality entertainment right there.

All right, so this whole post was probably one big excuse to pimp some of my favorite movies of the moment. Fuck you, I don't care, watch them or I'll kick your ass. And while you're at it, watch these for good measure. Trainspotting. Reservoir Dogs. Four Rooms. All right, that's all for now. Watch them all and you could possibly be as cool as me. Ha, well, not quite, not even close, but definitely cooler than you are now. That's a good start. On a side note, do you think it's a sin if I'm downloading the DVD of the Passion of Christ? Please tell me, these are things I need to know.

Links of the Day


Just one. Someone buy me this fucking guitar!!! I'd probably have to love you forever if you did. You know you want me to love you forever...

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Is Queef A Real Word?

Apparently it is not a word, sadly, not in the scrabble dictionary sense at least. How do I know this? Well, because I asked... on live public access television. I asked a dude named Hammell, to be exact. He asked me for a definition. I could not produce it, however, screams of pussy farts could be heard in the background... on live television. That my friends, is why Scrabble on Tuesday nights at 11 is the greatest thing since my penis. And that's pretty fucking great.

In case you haven't seen it, Scrabble is a public access show that some really smart guy runs. He plays against the city of Minneapolis, which is basically a bunch of drunk and stoned college kids calling in and naming themselves Team Ramrod #1-29. At least we were clever and named ourselves Team Suckmywang.

I encourage you all to call in, anyone who lives in the area anyway. Or at the very least watch. You can listen to me ask to see Hammell's head at least three times per show. You can also watch as I spell D Raped. Or queef, or queer, or any other host of borderline inappropiate words. It's good times, I encourage you to check it out. And just so we have an image for this post, I present this...



Yeah, I know, that's more Wheel of Fortune than Scrabble, but you try to Photoshop a fucking scrabble board, it's hard! So there you go, Go Fuck Yourselves... and have a good weekend.


Links of the Day


This is good for a laugh, and always makes me want to watch the movie again. There's also one for Jackie Brown.

Anyone want to go to this with me? OAR is going to be there, should be a good time...

I always knew being a caffeine addict and an alcoholic would eventually all even out.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Check Out These Sexy Bitches

All right, to liven things up a bit, I'd like to draw your attention to this fine sight...




Check us out in all of our glory, and with a pretty hilarious story on us, at this site. Or you could just pick up the finals edition of the Daily, if you are U of M campus readers, we made it to the big time... page 11.

I have a really funny post coming, I swear. Tomorrow's my last final, aka my first final, so after that I'll be a little more free and will post more often. Till then sweet readers, till then.



Saturday, May 08, 2004

A Rare Serious Note

I received some pretty horrible news today. A kid I knew from high school debate died today. Alcohol was involved, which becomes kind of an eye opener.

I know we talk a lot on this website about the crazy stuff we do, and a lot of that craziness involves us drinking mass quantities of alcohol. I guess now that I think about it now, we should have put up a sort of qualifying statement about this long ago, but it holds even truer now. Please be safe people, when you drink, and be responsible.

The saddest part about this death was he was not stupid. He did not get behind the wheel of a vehicle. He did not do something crazy like jump off a building. He didn't do anything that the rest of us don't often do when we are drunk. He simply fell down some stairs. Something as simple as that, and one of the brightest, funnest, most enjoyable people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting was taken from this world, far too young. He had a bright future ahead of him, and he will be sorely missed.

So, the weekend is still not over, and I'm sure many of you will continue to party tonight. Just keep things like this in the back of your mind, because they happen far too often. Take care of each other, be careful with the alcohol and other drugs, and be smart and safe. I don't want to lose any of our faithful readers to something so senseless. By all means have fun, you know that we will continue to, but do it with a little common sense. And say a prayer for my man, he deserves it.

All right, on that cheery note, I bid you all adieu. It's time to study for my one real final. I'll make a new post tomorrow, and it will be funny and happy again, so just deal with this one for now, sorry. We have to be serious once in a while I suppose.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

My Night With OAR


It doesn't get too much better than this


Well kids, I went to my first concert in a little over a year, and I must say, I remember why I loved going to them so much. OAR definitely knew how to put on a show, and I was not disappointed with a second of the time I was there. I was worried, since a buddy of mine told me they sucked live, but I think he was just in the wrong mood for it, or didn't know the songs, or they just weren't into it that night, all of which make a huge difference, I'm sure.

The evening started pretty horribly, with us heading out at a brisk pace... right into the fucking middle of rush hour. That delayed us enough to put us about 45 minutes behind schedule. Well, that and stopping on some random road to wiss into the trees. I'm not going to say that was the most legal drive I've ever been on, in fact, I'm going to have to say at least seven arrestable offenses were taking place at any point along the road. Yeah, we fucking rule.

But getting there was totally worth it. We got to hear Black Rock. We got to hear Night Shift. And of course, we got to hear Crazy Game of Poker, which they jammed on for about 15 minutes and made me splooge right in my pants at least 47 times. Their saxaphonist is hands down the best I've ever seen, even better than that dude who plays for DMB. And I got to listen to all of that music while watching a decent light show, made even more decent by my state of mind at the time. But that's not even the best news, at least not for you guys. They also did a brand new song that they had never played live, or on a cd. And of course, I managed to get my hands on an mp3 from the concert last night, so download and enjoy (right click, save target as, please). It's a decent song, I was impressed, more impressed with the music than the lyrics, but I guess OAR is known for working on the lyrics for a long ass time, so I don't expect this to be the final variation. Special thanks to OAR Fans for being so fucking awesome and getting this stuff out to the masses so quickly.

And now it is my intention to sit down and do homework for the next eight hours. Well, that's the plan anyway, I'm sure I'll just take a nap, but I bet I'll dream of homework. Fucking homework...