Thursday, June 03, 2004

Exploding Water Heaters

Yeah, I bet you've never seen that as a title before. That's because none of you have probably had to come home from a vacation to find your entire room soaked in a nice funky musky goo that came from your water heater. Such is the treat that I got to experience last night. It's so bad that I had to sleep upstairs in our slightly less smelly living room. I guess it's all right, we're getting brand new carpet, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.

So I spent the entire weekend and most of the week in Yankton. Good times, I suppose. I went to my first strip club. I have larger breasts than most of the girls that were on stage, but that one girl climbed her ass all the way up the poll and hung there for a long time so I suppose I give her credit for that. I got to make a comment about crabs eatining herpes at the club, which grossed most people out, which was really what I was going for. I also went to a bar with my mother (no, not the strip club) which was sort of weird, and then went with some friends to the Yankton bars. I realized that the bars I looked forward to all through high school are really really lame. Oh well, cheap beer at the very least.

I also hung out some with the only bum I've ever really personally known. That's right, I hung out with Megan. Haha, just kidding, actually, if you know her you'll know who I'm talking about, and that's all that needs to be said. Anyway, she's homeless by choice, which we had a long conversation about. It's weird to me, but she seems at least concientious about it, which is more than I would have expected. I may put up a full bum post at some later date.

Didn't do too much else in Yankton, it may be the first time I've come back in quite a while that I've gone there and not stayed in a nice chemical cloud for nearly the entire time. It's kind of refreshing to think clearly in that town for once. I may have to do it more often. Unfortunately, thinking clearly sometimes leads me to thinking too much, which is more than I'm willing to get into here.

On a totally different note, Phish is coming to Alpine Valley June 25th. Tickets are like $40. This is their last tour, they decided to break up after this series of concerts. You better bet your ass that I'm going to this one. I already had to miss one Phish concert because of a family emergency, it certainly won't happen again. I will be bouncing around the room, wading in the velvet sea, and boogying on with that reggae woman with the best of them. In light of the fact that it's their last tour, I may make the concert my last smoke fest, since I was thinking about giving it up completely soon anyway. The crowd I'm planning on going with will be sure to make that a hazy memorable experience if that's how I choose to go out of the smoking world. If any of you readers are interested in going, by all means let me know, we have to get our tickets together soon.

And speaking of douche bags, I decided to give Danny one more chance at writing for this fantastic website. In his last chance at joining our crew, Danny decided to fuck up the entire website template just before forgetting his password and losing his ability to post. Good fucking work Danny. Let's see if he can get it right this time. Oh, I'm just giving him shit, I'm sure he'll be hilarious. To celebrate him joining the Gizzle to the Mizzle, I decided to host a couple of Danny's songs from his former band, Away From Here. I didn't ask him permission to do that, but I'm sure he won't mind, he loves having his songs heard. And if he does mind, he can just take this down, since he's part of the team now. Anyway, clicky here and http://www.tc.umn.edu/~blum0113/no%20artist%20-%20audiotrack%2009.mp3 (right click, save target as). Bonus points to everyone who thinks he says "Tater tot, you're- on my back now," in one of those songs. Good stuff.

All right kids, look forward to more posts in the next couple of days. I promise I'll post something about bums and travelling kids here someday, it'll blow your mind. Peace in the middle east (I can't believe I just fucking said that).

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