Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Guest Post Bitches!

Today is a very special day. We have a guest poster. A very talented one at that. This is from Leah, one of the coolest girls I've met ever. Long before I knew who she was, she was an avid reader of the site. She loves us... and we crushed her with our long abscenses. Here's what she has to say on the matter.

Goldy And Me

By Leah


My story starts much like the beginning of a good porn, a young girl whose ambitions and dreams bring new, exciting, and erotic experiences. I started reading Goldy’s Mom when I was a sweet, impressionable freshman at Aquinas College. The shy, sheltered type, I didn’t know what I was in for with Goldy’s mom, much less my college career.

Was I nervous at first? Of course. I had only heard about Goldy’s mom, you know, from my friends…and slutty people. I didn’t know if it really was for me. But as time dragged on, I felt myself being pulled into it. I was far away from home, confused and alone. I guess I saw Goldy’s mom as a way out.

I started slow, browsing it occasionally for pictures of people I knew, maybe an occasional dirty link to click. But soon I was reading it all the time, giggling to myself while my roommate slept peacefully. I became addicted and began sending it to people who didn’t even know who Goldy was, people who didn’t care…I checked it everyday hoping for a quick fix.

Then the bomb dropped. Goldy’s mom left me. When the boys stopped posting regularly, I was crushed. I turned to drinking, making out with random college boys, and showing my boobs for beer. All the things I had learned so much about with Goldy’s mom. Yet somehow it didn’t fill the void. I had fallen so far.

I tried starting my own blog, but it just felt empty. I read other’s blogs but they just made me feel slutty. Not the good slutty I had felt with Goldy’s mom, an evil slutty like sleeping with both of your first cousins at your family reunion, and liking it. It was a dark time.

Eventually I pulled through. I refocused and got a fake id, to support my alcoholism. I even finished school in the blur of blurriness. (I’d tell you what it was but I don’t even remember at this point.) I moved on somehow.

Eventually Goldy’s mom returned, but it was never the same. Sure I still visit. I laugh, and pretend to know all the faces in the pictures. I just hope that someday we can have what I pretended we did for so long. And maybe, just maybe, I could be in one of those pictures, using all the important life lessons Goldy’s mom taught me, making out drunk with someone near a stripper pope. It’s all a girl could ask for I guess.




Just for you Leah, just for you. Here's your pic. And a giant one at that, cuz I'm too lazy to reduce.



See, Leah is the best reader ever. Why can't the rest of you be sending in your own articles? Sure would make my job a hell of a lot easier. Anyway, I'm still sick, I'm off to do way more important things... like sit around on the computer some more. Later all.

1 Comments:

Anonymous the shortbus said...

"But soon I was reading it all the time, giggling to myself while my roommate slept peacefully."

That's weird.

"I turned to drinking, making out with random college boys, and showing my boobs for beer...and got a fake id, to support my alcoholism."

That's true. Ha.

Miss you Leah!!

6:19 AM  

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