Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Analyze This!

Here's all I can remember of my dream last night. Analyze it in a way that makes me laugh the most, and you get a prize.

Setting: Fancy restaurant, typical blind date scenario. I'm eating crap, the girl across from me is eating hot dogs. Perfect. She's beautiful (and no, it's no one that I know). Oh yeah, and she's actually blind. My dreams take everything too literally.

Her: So yeah, my friend has been having a really hard time since she had to drop out of school after those gorilla bites she got.

Me: Look, are all of your clothes going to magically disappear soon, or do I have to think harder?!

And then I woke up. So, faithful readerrs, tell me what this means. I'm sure it can't be good.


Anonymous dodgeballmaster said...

now I know you said make it funny and this is more sad than anything else but I"m pretty sure this is an accurate reading, you dream means: you're horny and you want to get laid.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman said...

I think that you are starting to feel that you need a more controlling woman in your life. You want someone who cannot see what you look like because you worry that you will not be good enough...the blind girl. And you want a woman who can take control...strong like a gorilla. You also want a woman who will do nasty things to you because you like pain in your sexual pleasure...the gorilla bites. This is just my professional opinion. My opinion as a are actually gay. during the day your penis is in control and it just wants to have some fun so you don't think about the fact that you like men. At night your brain can function again and it is giving you these images to tell you that women are crazy and that you should go to the same sex.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Shaun said...

Reminds me of a Dane Cook skit... nowhere near verbatim: "A crab chasing you, *flip flip flip* I have a dream book, let's see, crab, crab... dude, you're gay. And the lightning, yeah, emphasises the gay, you're super gay. He wasn't wearing loafers, was he?! Cuz that would make you super ultra gay, like super hero gay."

Anyway, I like the analysis, both pro and amateur. You are sort of right, the only way I would be gay is to avoid the craziness that is the female gender, and apparently the complete psychosis that goes along with it. Unfortunately, you're just a bit off, because sadly, I don't like penis, which would just make things so much easier.

3:11 PM  

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